lord have mercy

a thought PRIDE recognition PRIDE, DESPAIR. tracing, lots of little shining epiphanies, SAD SMILE, DULL EYES. this is a period of distance, of particles becoming sensations becoming the whispers of coming dust. when I was young I prayed for ignorance and the will to live by the force of my own vision.

and it came to me. DESPAIR. I sigh at the folly of mankind, sweetly. it all came to me. I stole it for myself, and it came to me. I mastered my own deception and now the world is open to me to use as I would. what need have I for a future? HORROR. I turn myself inward, then outward, then outward still.

how soft is the air. how intangible the bonds of unconditional love, yet they must hold. I perish if they do not hold. yet I cannot hold onto them. PRIDE.  honesty and truth are not the same thing; the former will not save you. will not save me.

my bickering is as the knife that used to slice my skin; an agitation, powerless beyond its empty, cyclic permanence. coming, ending. PROOF OF WILL. proof of despair. marks of pride.